I begin this post by saying that God is absolutely incredible with the way He unfolds His plans for our lives. Unfortunately, there are times we sit here and try to "plan" what we think our lives should look like and how we think we should always have the fun, easy, "all things handed to me" lifestyle. It is so easy to go down that path because we are human and we are sinful.
We have recently gone through a chapter in our lives of doing our own "life planning session". Long story short, we fail in the end just so ya know ;) We began this last chapter in November when we suddenly got the news that our little J was going to be moved back home to be with his mom. We weren't expecting that to happen until March or April in the least! At that point, I felt overwhelmed with the fact that God is about to do something and it's going to be big. I kept saying that I knew for certain He was up to something, because losing this little guy is very random. The very next month, the little girl we had went back home as well. So there we sat... empty nested. Joshua and I both felt completely ok with that because we truly needed rest. So there we sat with no kids and the planning started. "We will be taking a loooong break" "We will take kids again in February or March" WE this. WE that. The list goes on. One afternoon before our little girl left, we were presented with an opportunity to take two kids from another foster home sometime in January. After many days, and much debating on how "this is not OUR plan!!!!!" we decided that God has something up His sleeve and we better get on board quick. The babies came Jan. 9th. :) We knew from the beginning the little boy was not completely healthy, but we had no idea what was to come. Our plans that we had made were totally trampled, put through a shredder and then burned. The night we got the kids we knew little man was not well. We ended up at the ER the next day due to complications with his tummy and stayed in the hospital 8 days with him. The days were long. Very long. We couldn't find an answer with what was wrong. Through all of this my heart is broken because I am holding a 21 month old baby who has been through more in his little life already that some adults face, and now he is being poked and prodded in a hospital being held by somebody he doesn't even know. As I would sit and rock and rock and rock him, I just kept thinking how this was not even CLOSE to our plan!! hahaha! I was just in total shock! After we were finally home, we start the appointments for his little sister. She has a mis-shapen head, so we knew there would be some level of care we would have to follow through with. Again.. little did we know what was to come. We followed through with all of the xrays and CT Scans. Planning again (you would seriously think I would have learned by this point.... but no, still planning) I went into our appointment already KNOWING what the doctor was going to say. So I am literally blowing off the appointment. When the doctor came in and told me she had to have surgery, I felt like a bomb was dropped on me. Not just one surgery, but two and soon. Very soon. I left the office absolutely overwhelmed and feeling horribly guilty. Once shock had worn off, it was as if God grabbed my hand and said, "Come on, I got you. Just keep walking with Me and I will help you take care of these babies." I knew nothing else but to hand every single bit of our lives over to Him. (something I should have done a few months ago) All of this was TOTALLY unexpected. Never ONCE did I expect this, plan on this, or even imagine this to happen with these babies. That is where God's plan became so clear in our lives. We know at this point, that God can give us many challenges and trials, but He is always faithful to be there for guidance, support, encouragement, discipline and strength. He is a perfect God and Father and my life and my family is totally surrendered to HIS plan.
